POLLY WILLIAMS

MY FRIEND FAG

I remember it well, it was a summer’s night and there was a gang of us sitting around at the back of Doxey School.  We were all between the ages of 13 – 15, we always hung around there.

I got on with all my mates but there was one I wasn’t too sure about – her name was Fag.  She seemed very popular with some of the gang so I thought she couldn’t be so bad perhaps once you got to know here.  I asked my friend Gale what she was like and she said “Once you get to know her you will like her”.

Over the next few days I started to get to know her.  At first I couldn’t take to her, but after a few days I felt as if I had known her forever.  She helped to make me feel grown up.  We used to meet up at school and then every night after school.  We became the best of mates.  I never went anywhere without her, pictures, youth-club, in fact we were never apart.  She was even there when I met my boyfriend Alex at 16.  She was always with me.  No matter who I was with or where I was she was always there and I didn’t mind because I enjoyed her company.

I married Alex when I was 17 and had two children, Sharon and Paul and they grew up and had children of their own, so I became a grandma.  Fag and I were still good friends.  We remained friends for the next 40 years.

While my grandchildren were growing up they used to say “You only play with us for a short while then you have to go and sit with Fag” I used to say “I have known her for a long time and we are good friends”.  “But Nanny” they would say “when you play rounder’s with us you look happy, but when you are with Fag you look miserable, and tired and we don’t see you laughing”.  I would reply “don’t be silly she is my friend”.  “Well we don’t like her” they said “she is always hanging around.  We never see you on your own”.

I was 52 years old and my husband was coming up to 60 and I thought it would be nice if we all had a holiday abroad to celebrate his birthday, my son and daughter, their partners, grandchildren and my dad who is a very fit 74 years old.  My dad didn’t like Fag and said “you spend too much time with Fag and she is running your life”.

I used to think “Oh dad you are always moaning” but one night I was lying in bed and it went through my mind what my grandchildren and dad had been saying about Fag.  Why did they dislike Fag so much?  Fag was always there for me when I needed her.

I met Gale, (I hadn’t seen her for a few weeks).  “Fag and I don’t see much of you now” I said.  “To be honest” Gale said “For the first few years I knew her, I thought she was great, then I felt I couldn’t go anywhere without her and I never seemed to have any money”

I broke away for a few months but she kept pestering me, and I must admit I missed her a lot, but when I went about with her again I noticed she smelt quite a bit and I didn’t like to say anything and eventually I didn’t notice it any more, then one day a woman was with her little girl in the shop, they were buying sweets.  The little girl turned to her mum and said “They smell mummy, their clothes smell, it is horrible”.  I thought “you cheeky monkey” but then I remembered when I got back with Fag that I could smell that horrible smell.

One morning I woke up with a bad cough, Fag had stayed the night.  I said “Fag, my throat is sore with coughing, I think I will stay home today”  “I’ll stay with you” she said “keep you company, I won’t bother you too much, but if you want me I’ll be here for you”.

The next day I didn’t feel much better.  I said to Fag “you will have to go; I don’t feel like any company today.  When I feel a bit better I will call for you”.  A few days had passed and I started feeling better but I noticed I wasn’t missing my friend Fag as much as usual.  A few weeks went by and I was only seeing her now and again, anyway I had my husband’s birthday to think about.  I started seeing less and less of Fag and I seemed to have more money in my pocket.  I met some new friends and got on really well with them, I felt happy and they didn’t overpower me.

A few months went by and I started to miss Fag, I missed her company so much and we started hanging about together again.  It was the same old story, we were never apart.  I started to notice that I had no money again that holiday was coming up in six months time.  I had arranged it but I never seemed to have any money.

I met an old friend from my teens and I was asking about some of my old school mates.  She said most were fine, she asked me if I still saw Fag and I said “yes”.

“I will tell you the truth” she said “I never liked Fag; she used people, and took all their money.  She ruined a lot of lives, some of our mates realised and broke away, others left it too late, they have passed away, and all that money Fag had, taken from them when they were ill, she never cared she just found more folks to get close to and take all their money and you have been one of them for many years”.

I went to bed that night and thought about what my friend had said, something inside snapped.  She was right, what a fool I had been.  I thought about lots of things, what had Fag done for me, it wasn’t a lot.

Her other friends had chucked her to one side, I should have realised something was not right with Fag from that first time behind Doxey School.  I should have gone with my instincts.  STILL IT IS NEVER TOO LATE.

I haven’t seen Fag for a while now.  I still think about her, some days more than others.  I think how she used me, I will never forget Fag, we were together for too long, BUT I WILL NEVER LET HER RULE MY LIFE AGAIN.

I have seen a few people who like Fag when I am out, but I won’t get caught again.

When I look back I never had any money; she had most of it, she never gave me any space; she was always with me, when I was ill, she still nagged me.

I saw Fag the other day, she looked at me and I looked at Fag but I will never hang about with Fag again.

I will keep my distance!

Anyway, I’m going to the bank to take out some money I have saved for my holiday.

IT TOOK ME A LONG, LONG TIME TO REALISE FAG WAS NOT MY FRIEND BUT IT IS NEVER TOO LATE!!!!!!